Portraits of My Heart

More August Pics

2011-09-10T19:28:00.000-07:00

My girls sure love each other...Makenzie can't keep her eyes off of Taylor, and Taylor can't help but cuddle her every chance she gets. This usually means Makenzie gets a mouth full of hair, but she's a pretty good sport about it.

Taylor was happy in these pics...Kenzie, not so much :)

I often catch Taylor prying open Makenzie's hands to put toys in them, so it's not unusual to find her like this :)

She looks so much like Taylor did at this age, it's amazing! The shape of her eyes is a little different, but I have a feeling I will have a hard time keeping their baby pictures straight!

Makenzie LOVES to stick out her tongue. She does it all the time, especially at daddy :)

Big yawn!

Still working on how to hold baby sister ;)

August 2011: A Picture Recap

2011-09-08T08:17:00.000-07:00

Taylor reading to her baby sister and her Elmo...they both seem very into it :)

Taylor wants as much cuddle time with mommy as she can get.

Two blue-eyed babies.

Makenzie at 6 weeks old.

Sleeping through church.

She loves the warm water in her bath.

She smiled for the first time at 6 and a half weeks...so sweet!

Gotta love the dimple...you'll be seeing lots of it, friends.

July 2011: Makenzie Joins the Family

2011-09-04T16:30:00.000-07:00

Well, as promised, here are some more cute pictures of my girls. Taylor is a VERY good big sister. She helps me change Makenzie by picking out which diaper she will wear and, get this...she throws away the dirty diaper for me! Talk about a dream child.

The only thing we struggle with is that Taylor wants all of mommy's attention whenever I am nursing Makenzie...which just happens to be all the time! Makenzie enjoys her meals, often eating every 90 minutes, which means mommy has a lot less hands for taking care of big sister. That's been the hardest adjustment...feeling like I have to put Makenzie's needs over Taylor's wants. Overall, they are still cute little playmates :)

The girls playing bubbles together. Taylor insisted that Makenzie hold a bubble wand, too (the green thing in her hand).

Taylor's version of a smile these days :)

Kisses for baby sister

Notice a pattern? Taylor LOVES to lay down next to Makenzie and often asks, "Is this a good picture?" reminding me to break out the camera.

Okay, I am OBSESSED with her dimple. I always wanted my kids to get Blake's dimples, and Makenzie managed to do it! Way to go, baby.

Taylor enjoying her presents from Makenzie...a lollipop (since she kept insisting that Makenzie was going to bring one home from the hospital for her) and some bracelets.

Grabbing a handful of that feathery, dark hair.

I think she kind of looks like a monkey when she's awake...a very cute monkey, of course :)

Love the peaceful sleep of a newborn :)

More Hospital Pics and First Week Home

2011-09-02T21:20:00.001-07:00

I know these are LONG overdue, but I have been so busy enjoying my baby, I haven't really cared about blogging pictures of her. She is a sweet, cuddly little girl, and we are all very much in love with her already.

Here we are cuddling...I couldn't get enough of that little face.

Makenzie with her twin cousins, Lyla and June, who were born in February.

The ride home from the hospital.

Taylor loves to share her toys with "Kenz" (as she likes to call her).

What a difference 2 years make!

Sleepy baby...looks EXACTLY like Taylor did at this age.

Makenzie Leigh Hagen

2011-07-12T14:05:00.001-07:00

Makenzie Leigh Hagen. Born 7/11/11 at 9:01am. 6 lb. 5 oz. 18 inches long.

With mommy for the first time. Emily pushed just 4 times. Pushing lasted less than 10 mins.

Happy.

Tay came to visit. Had fun holding Makenzie.

Taylor thought Mak wanted a fist-bump so she gave her one.

And then she blew it up.

The Hagen family. 7/11/11.

Taylor's Fourth of July Weekend Fun

2011-07-05T07:38:00.001-07:00

Well, I'm sorry to say I didn't take a single picture this fourth of July weekend. Bed rest has kept me down, but little miss Taylor certainly had some fun. She went to the parade with Mami Bella and Grandpapa and couldn't stop talking about it..."I saw Cosmo and princesses and a band with instr-ments and it was very loud and we had so much fun!"

She then got to go swimming with Mami Bella, Aunt Katie, and the twins while the guys went golfing. She was so excited to come back and tell me how she had splashed and splashed and Blake said it was hard to get her to leave :) Her hair was curly from the pool, her cheeks were pink from the sun, and she had a huge smile on her face as she told me about her day...what a cutie!

My brother Dan and his wife Heather are in town with their kids (Andrew 6, Forrest 5, Addi 2) so Taylor has had a blast playing with them. They have been gone a bit this weekend to be with Heather's family for a family reunion, so whenever we go to my parent's house and they aren't there, Taylor asks, "Where are my cousins?" She loves playing "with" (next to, really) Addi. They sure are cute together!

As far as fireworks go, I was surprised to see that Taylor was scared of them. She wouldn't come too close to the sparklers ("sprinklers" as she later called them) and certainly wouldn't hold one. She also wanted to be held and cuddled during the stadium of fire fireworks show that we watched from my parent's backyard. The loud noises seemed to intimidate her at first, but she did warm up a little by the end, telling me about the pretty colors in the sky.

Overall, she seemed to really love the Fourth of July weekend. I only wish I could have participated in more of it with her. I hate to admit it, but I had kind of planned on having these last few weeks of pregnancy as a "spoil Taylor" time, where I'd cram in every fun summer experience that I wanted to have with her before her little sister comes in to steal the show for a while. Being put on bed rest certainly put a damper on those plans.

Luckily, Taylor has taken it all in stride and, although she has wanted me to hold her more lately, she has had lots of fun with grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and especially daddy, so I'm trying not to worry about her too much. The worst is when she comes up and asks me to do something for her or chase her around and looks at me expectantly with those big baby blues and the only answer I can give her is "Go ask daddy." It breaks my heart to have to start the process of "you're not the only little person on my radar anymore" routine with her already...I wasn't mentally prepared for that. She's still my baby, too.

Well, only a few more days of bed rest...then let the real chaos begin! Until then, I'll leave you with some pictures from a few months ago, when we went to the tulip gardens at Thanksgiving Point with Mike, Rachel, Sammy, and Mami Bella...probably the last time I really took pictures.

Taylor insists on wearing her sunglasses every time we leave the house...she always looks like such a diva :)

Such a sweet face.

The gardens were beautiful.

Tay sure loved looking at the water.

Baby Update

2011-07-01T10:10:00.000-07:00

Looks like this baby is staying in a little longer. At my appointment yesterday, according to the non stress test, it looked like the fluid levels around the baby had increased to a much safer level, meaning delivery is not necessary for another week. The only thing that was concerning to the doctor was that I had lost 2 pounds since my appt. on Monday...I couldn't believe it! After all that eating and laying around, I still managed to LOSE weight?! It was frustrating to endure a lecture on eating more and avoiding diet foods (seriously? I've never even eaten diet foods), but the doctor still felt comfortable enough with the results of the test that he feels the baby will be okay to wait to be induced until Monday July 11th. I have another non stress test scheduled for Thursday, but I think it is more of a precautionary test than anything.

So, another 10 days of boring bed rest. I don't know how women do this for months on end...I'm certainly annoyed at just sitting around when there are things to be done, but the health of the baby has got to come first. The good news is that my brother and his family are visiting from Oregon for the week so, although I can't do much, I can spend time catching up with them instead of missing them completely by being in the hospital during their visit. And perhaps they will get to meet our newest arrival before they make the long drive home :)

Bed Rest

2011-06-29T11:02:00.000-07:00

For those who have not yet heard, my doctor recently put me on bed rest. I went in on Monday for my 37 week appointment, thinking it would be as all my appointments have been...take some measurements, take my weight, ask some questions, and go home after 20 minutes. Well, when the doctor measured my belly, he seemed rather concerned that it was only 31 centimeters instead of around 37 centimeters, as it should be at the 37th week. He decided I should be administered a non stress test and an ultrasound immediately.

Well, all I can say is thank goodness Blake was at my appointment (everything had been going so smoothly, he'd stopped coming to the appointments with me months ago). Taylor was with us too and seemed a little out of sorts that mommy had to be hooked up to machines over the next hour. The non stress test showed that there was enough fluid around the baby, but if it got too much lower, induction would be necessary. The ultrasound came back mostly positive as far as the baby's head size, lungs, heart, bladder, kidneys, etc. The one area of concern was her abdomen. It was the size of a fetus at 34 weeks, not 37 weeks as it should be. This indicated that maybe my placenta had stopped doing its job and was no longer providing her with the nutrients she needs.

After hearing these results, the doctor decided that the baby may be better fed outside of me than she is inside of me right now. He said I will definitely be induced by week 39, but that she may need to come out as soon as this Friday, July 1st (my due date is July 17th). He put me on bed rest for the next few days, giving me strict orders to do nothing but eat a lot and lay down. I go in tomorrow for another non stress test and exam to determine if I will be on bed rest for one more week or if it's time to just get the baby out so she can get better nourishment.

Personally, I kind of hope I am scheduled to be induced on Friday. I don't like just sitting around worrying about her, wondering if she's actually getting fed inside of me. I want to get her out so I can make sure she is getting fed. I think my doctor is hoping my cervix will be more favorable by my appointment tomorrow as I have been at 1 cm and 75% effaced for 2 weeks now...not ideal for inducing, maybe resulting in a c-section. I'd prefer to avoid the c-section, but my main priority is getting my little girl out safely and getting her fed. I'm just glad we made it past week 37 so she has attained full-term status.

It has been a pretty unexpected turn of events, but Blake and I are trying to prepare for the possibility of having our baby in just 48 hours as best we can. Poor Taylor can sense a change and has been especially clingy to me, wanting to be held and cuddled by me a lot more and saying things like, "I want to cry like a baby does." She also had potty-trained herself for over 2 weeks with no accidents and now is right back in diapers, scared of her potty seat all of a sudden. I'd had a feeling we might experience some digression as the due date neared, but (as I'm sure some of you other mothers have experienced) it's still pretty impossible to "rest" when you have a 2-year-old climbing all over you.

I have to say, I couldn't be more grateful for extended family at a time like this. Both my in-laws and my family have been awesome about taking care of me and entertaining Taylor so that I can rest, a huge blessing as Blake doesn't return from work until 8pm every night. I would be much more of an emotional wreck without the love and support I have felt from all of them. Knowing that someone is playing with Taylor and making her happy at a time when I just can't is so reassuring. It helps me to focus on taking care of myself and our soon to be little girl #2. All the texts and calls from from friends, sisters, etc. have also been so appreciated. Thanks to you all...we will keep you posted on when this baby is coming...now to just anxiously await my appointment tomorrow morning.

Talkin' Taylor

2011-06-09T13:37:00.000-07:00

I have to say, my 2-year-old is quite the talker. Her vocabulary is that of a 3-year-old's (not sure where she got that stroke of genius) and she often says the funniest things. She astounds me every day with intelligent questions and funny phrases that I'm sure she's picked up from watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (I'm pretty sure she's learned way more from that show than from me). Some of my favorite things she's said as of late:

1. On the drive home, "Look mommy, a yellow fire hydrant with blue on it!" And so it was, a yellow fire hydrant with a blue reflector on it.

2. Upon seeing red, white, and blue colored balloons: "Oh, my! Flag balloons!" She also knows what an "American flag" is, as well as an, "Argentina flag" (where Blake served his mission).

3. While playing with some spices from our spice rack, she put one container next to another and said, "Two halves make a whole!" I'll credit Mickey Mouse for that one!

4. While her grammar is unusually proper for her age ("Mommy, will you get me some more milk, please?"), there are still a few phrases she says incorrectly that are just so cute: "I want to go at Grandma's house!" Whenever we leave grandma's house, she jumps and dances in a circle while yelling, "Yeah, yeah, yeah! Fun at grandma's house!"

5. One of her favorite requests: "I want to play with you in my bedroom, mommy."

6. At church, she often tells Blake and I, "Good job being reverent," or "Just keep being patient." Before sacrament meeting started a couple weeks ago, she pointed to a bald man 2 rows in front of us and said, pretty loudly, "That boy isn't wearing any hair!" That one got a few chuckles, especially from Daddy :)

7. She is very inquisitive and often asks questions like, "What are you doing?" or "What is that?"

8. She is always concerned about others, especially Daddy. If Blake makes any noise of frustration, she immediately asks, "What's the matter, daddy?" or "Are you okay, daddy?" She also randomly comes up to us and says, "I love you, mommy/daddy."

9. Whenever we turn on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, she has to ask, "What episode is it?"

10. She really knows what she wants these days: "I want a big girl bed, mommy" and "I want to wear Minnie Mouse panties."

11. Whenever she sneezes, she says, "Bless you!" to herself :)

She is really growing up and maturing into a little person these days. While tantrums are not out of the ordinary, they are becoming a bit more rare (knock on wood) as she has learned to express herself in more appropriate and grown up ways.

She is really smart and surprises us every day with her expanding vocabulary (how many 2-year-olds do you know that can say "congratulations" and use it in the right context? Although, when my sister was graduating from Timpview High School, Taylor accidentally combined the words graduation and congratulations to create a new word...congraduation).

Taylor also has exceptional listening skills. She is very attentive about listening when I caution her not to run into the street and knows not to push the boundaries on things like cars and safety. She has a very good sense of hearing...she always notices the sound of the "choo-choo train" that we can faintly hear from our house.

She also loves music and knows a lot of songs (ABC song, Popcorn Popping, etc.) just by hearing me sing them to her. Oftentimes, I've sung a song to her without her uttering a word of it, only to hear her playing in her bedroom and singing that song perfectly, word for word.

Overall, she is a very obedient and pleasant little girl. With the day to day challenges of family life, she definitely brings a sense of innocence and joy to our family that keeps us laughing, even through the hard times. We love our little Taylor.

When it Rains, it Pours...

2011-06-06T13:46:00.000-07:00

Well folks, May was a rough month for us. Not only was the weather less than ideal, but nothing seemed to be going our way. Here's what the month of May looked like for us:

1. We live in the basement apartment of the house we own and a few weeks ago, the sewage backed up...from a drainage pipe right on the floor of our bathroom. Sewage water seeped all over our bathroom, hallway, kitchen, and soaked through a couple feet of the carpet of our family room. Blake took the day off work to help me deal with Roto-Rooter, All Pro Cleaning, and our home owners insurance company to sort out all the repairs, clean-up, and coverage. It took all day and we found out that, although Roto-Rooter cleared it out, our sewage pipe will have to be replaced if we don't want this to happen again. Until we can get it fixed, we are anxiously keeping an eye on that drain in our bathroom. Here's what the house currently looks like until we can get a new carpet/vinyl flooring put in:

The shirts on the floor are a "bridge" so Taylor can get from the kitchen to the family room.

2. On top of that, our car had some issues, so we had to take it in for some repairs (naturally, the same day the sewage backed up). We've literally taken our car into our mechanic every single week for different repairs for the past 4 weeks. Thank goodness we have been able to borrow a car from Blake's brother so Blake can make the commute to Sandy for work.

3. This was only shortly after we discovered that we have some pigeons living in our roof and not one of the 3 companies we have called (multiple times) to have them removed has called us back. When we finally got in contact with a company that services the Provo area (apparently a lot of them don't) we discovered it would be an expensive fix. Great.

4. Our shower broke, so we had it temporarily fixed, but our handyman told us we will eventually need to do a more intensive and permanent fix which will, of course, cost more.

5. One Saturday while Blake was in the middle of mowing our lawn, the lawn mower just died on him. Unable to fix it, we have been borrowing my dad's mower every week since. Jury's out on how much that will cost to fix, but let's just say it's on the bottom of the to-do list.

Yes, all of these things really happened in just the month of May. We can't seem to catch a break...sometimes it feels like we take 1 step forward only to take 10 steps back. Oh, well. We are getting a good lesson in humility and finding the good in even the worst of circumstances (ex. "We may be standing in sewage, but at least we have our health!"). We have also discovered once again what a great blessing it is to have such wonderful parents that have helped us and commiserated with us through it all. Let's hope the month of June proves to be a sunnier one for us...

...much like today :)

An Ode to Motherhood

2011-05-19T15:04:00.000-07:00

I know Mothers Day has already passed, but I just had to express how grateful I am to not only have a wonderful mother, but to be a mom myself. Not every woman gets the opportunity to give birth to a child of their own and I never realized just how awesome it is until Taylor came into my life. She is, by far, my greatest accomplishment, not to mention my own daily reminder of how real God is and how much He loves us.

The other day I was reading about Nephi and his family and how even though they were living in tents in the wilderness and eating nothing but raw meat, the women were blessed and, as the scriptures say, they "did give plenty of suck for their children, and were strong" (1st Nephi 17:2). When I think of how overwhelmed I was as a new mother, especially with the grueling task of mastering nursing, I am truly humbled to imagine what trials these early saints faced.

I gave birth in a cushy hospital room with an epidural to dissolve the pain, with trained doctors and nurses assisting me, with a lactation specialist at my beck and call, with hot meals being delivered to me 3 times a day, and with prescription pills to ease the pain for the week after the baby was born. I had a warm home to return to with running water and a mattress to sleep on. I had modern day diapers, pacifiers, swaddling blankets, and drawers full of onesies. And yet, despite the modern comforts, it was the hardest experience of my life.

How humbling it is to realize how much we have. How grateful I am that those mothers of Nephi's time were brave enough to trust in their Lord and keep having children, despite the seemingly insurmountable challenges they faced. They would probably laugh at the concerns we new parents have now (what if this brand of diaper gives my baby a rash? What if my baby won't take a bottle? When will I ever have time to shower again?).

But, be that as it may, we have our own set of challenges to face as mothers of today. I feel such gratitude that the Lord would allow me the honor to raise one (and soon to be two) of His children. What a great responsibility we have to teach our children what is right. We are so blessed to have the gospel on the earth to guide us back to our Father in Heaven.

I am so glad that I have the example of my mom to show me how to be a good mother. I am also grateful for the example of my mother-in-law and glad that she raised a good son who is now a wonderful father. These women inspire me every day, as do all the moms I know. They teach by their examples and their love for their families. Though I always wanted to be a mom, I have never known this kind of joy existed. It is beyond anything earthly and I truly look forward to experiencing this joy again in just 2 months.

My Little Ballerina

2011-05-11T16:25:00.000-07:00

Lots going on...

2011-05-05T11:36:00.000-07:00

I'm finally back to blogging! April was kind of a rough month as I got a bad cold/fever and was down and out for over 2 weeks. It feels like someone has been sick in our family every day for nearly 3 months! Anyway, we're finally all healthy again, so I just wanted to post some long overdue pictures.

Taylor on her birthday looking cute. No reason for this one, I just like it :)

I went to visit Katie and help take care of the twins when they were about a month old and it was so fun! Getting me all prepped for a newborn again...

This one is Lyla (she wanted her arms out of the blanket) and the one above is June. Aren't they precious? Hope our next is just as cute.

And here is a family picture from a few weeks ago. You can see my growing belly (at 27 weeks). Believe it or not, this was the best shot of Taylor...2 year olds are NOT easy to photograph!

Lots more pictures to come as we will have the whole Hagen family together this weekend in Midway. Maybe then we can get a smile out of Taylor :)

Picture Overload

2011-03-19T13:00:00.001-07:00

I realized I haven't blogged in a bit, but we sure do have lots of pictures to post! Here are a few of my favorites from the past few weeks:

Taylor cheering for the Cougars. She loves to point to each letter on her shirt as she spells out, "B-Y-U!" She can recognize Jimmer every time he's on TV and has become quite the fan.

Here are some curtains that my mother-in-law helped me sew...I seriously haven't used a sewing machine since I was like 12 years old, so this was quite the accomplishment. Quite frankly, I don't enjoy arts and craftsy things, but the ugly yellowed/stained curtains that had hung in the kitchen for who knows how many years just had to go. Thanks to Annabella for coaching me and to my mom for loaning me the sewing machine!

Here's Tay enjoying her books after my mom gave us a ride to the library. Taylor loved exploring the library with Grandma while I found a few books of my own.

Daddy had the flu and stayed home from work for a few days last week...Taylor really wanted to comfort him, so she would climb up and lay on him and give him cuddles. It was super cute, so I didn't have the heart to make her get down, but thank goodness she didn't get sick, too!

This is how my daughter watches TV (Curious George and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse are her favorites). Whenever I catch her like this, I make her move to the couch or turn off the TV, but it sure does look funny :)

Taylor enjoys music and has talked about xylophones ever since Curious George played one on her favorite show, so we got one for her birthday. The other day, the xylophone episode came on again, so Taylor rushed to her bedroom to retrieve her xylophone so she could play it right along with Curious George.

Last of all, I have to hand it to Blake. He brought me these beautiful tulips (and picked out my favorite color/style without even realizing it!) just to surprise me. Tulips have always been my favorite flower as my family used to make an annual trip to the tulip farms when I was child living in Washington. My favorites had always been the ones called "Christmas Marvel" and this is exactly what they looked like, so I was very pleasantly surprised. Blake was happy he'd picked so well and said, "I just thought they were the prettiest." Good eye, Blakey :)

Taylor and I have missed him this weekend as he left on Wednesday for the NCAA tournament in Denver, CO. He seems to be enjoying watching the Cougars with his dad and brother...hope they beat Gonzaga tonight!

Can't Sleep

2011-03-04T03:21:00.000-08:00

...So I figured I may as well blog. I didn't get to share earlier how happy I really am that we are having a girl. Obviously, I would have been happy with a healthy baby of either gender, but I feel particularly blessed to have this one be a little girl. I think I will be able to enjoy this newborn phase a little more than last time, but maybe a lot of second time moms feel that way.

When I had Taylor, I was immediately planning out a pumping schedule and sleep schedule because I only had 6 weeks of being with her before I was going back to work full-time. Needless to say, an already overwhelming and stressful situation became even more so and every moment was one of both joy and heartache, knowing my days with her would soon be limited to only the weekends. As each week passed, I dreaded the day I would have to leave her (in good hands of course, thanks to her grandmas).

My first day back at work, I remember how distracted I was, calling my mom and checking my email constantly for updates on my baby girl. I'll admit, at first it was a little nice to be able to shower at a normal hour and not feel like I was nursing every 5 minutes, but I would have gladly traded that to be home with Taylor again. Not to mention, excusing myself from the office every couple of hours to lock myself away and pump was often awkward and uncomfortable.

When I was home with Taylor in the evenings, I sometimes felt guilty because I was so tired from work, I felt like I didn't have enough energy for her. Those nights when she was teething or sick and I'd only get 2 hours of sleep before putting in a full day at work (where being a supervisor required me to be "on" all the time) were especially hard. I really couldn't give 100% to home and family or to my job, so neither was getting done to the capacity that it should have been, making neither as fulfilling as it could have been. It felt like I could never quite keep up with both, and Taylor was always the more important of the two, even though I felt like she often got the tired, run down version of me.

I remember how blessed I felt though, that we had so much support and help from family members. As silly as it sounds, I was also so grateful that Blake was present the first time Taylor crawled, and I witnessed Taylor's first steps. In fact, I started crying after she took her first steps...I was just so happy that she had saved those first steps for a time when I was home from work.

I was able to quit my job when Taylor was 18 months old and I haven't missed it at all since. I have found full-time motherhood to be challenging and much, much more rewarding than working out of the home ever was. There are plenty of years left for me to work, but family life comes and goes so quickly...some stages of life are just too precious to miss.

Thus, my reason for really wanting a little girl is that I want a do-over, a chance to be a full-time mommy to my baby girl, and in a way, I'm getting that. I can't wait to savor every moment of babyhood that I missed with Taylor. Maybe in the grand scheme of things, gender of the baby doesn't matter that much, but for me, this felt like a tender mercy from the Lord, allowing me a second chance at raising a baby girl.

And the Baby is...

2011-03-03T17:21:00.001-08:00

A GIRL!!!

We are super excited that Taylor is going to have a little sister come July 17th! It's just what we were hoping for...a healthy baby. We can't wait!

Taylor's Birthday!!!

2011-03-01T16:40:00.000-08:00

Well, my baby girl is officially 2 years old! I can't believe how fast the time has gone. Here she is on each of her birthdays:

Taylor Emma Hagen, February 28, 2009

February 28, 2010 - 1st Birthday

February 28, 2011 - 2nd Birthday

We celebrated Taylor's birthday with our family on Sunday and it was a lot of fun. Taylor loved all of her gifts. Thank you to everyone who brought gifts and celebrated with us!

Weekend Getaway and New Nieces

2011-02-24T08:50:00.000-08:00

A couple weekends ago, all the Hagens were invited to stay at my sister-in-law Katie's parents' cabin up in Midway. The house was beautiful and we had a great time playing games and watching movies together. We went to the ice castles up there and they were gorgeous, but it was freezing...maybe 15 degrees. We also went to a really good gourmet pizza restaurant and we all loved it. Thank you to the Lewis family for your generosity in letting us stay at your beautiful home for the weekend!

Here we are at the restaurant

Here's Taylor playing at the restaurant with "Jimmer Ducky" as she has named her basketball designed rubber ducky. She takes him everywhere!

Taylor being silly at the restaurant

And presenting my new nieces, Lyla and June, born February 22, 2011. Congratulations to Brad and Katie Hagen on their beautiful new arrivals. We had fun visiting them in the hospital and holding these little cuties. Taylor was not allowed in the maternity ward (no kids unless they are siblings or over the age of 14) so we are excited for the babies to be home so Taylor can meet her newest cousins.

Speaking of babies, we go in for our ultrasound one week from today. Taylor is convinced she is going to have a sister, but we keep reminding her that the doctor hasn't told us yet. We are excited to see this little one...it is quite a mover already!

Cooking and Play Dates

2011-02-11T08:43:00.000-08:00

Well, we have had another great week thanks to the morning sickness phase being over! All the foods that were so nauseating for so many months are now not bad at all. I have had a blast finding new recipes to cook, and I think Blake is grateful for my return to the kitchen. He loves to cook and used to do all the cooking when I was working full-time (I know, I'm super lucky) but now that he works until 7pm in Sandy (meaning he doesn't get home until approximately 7:43pm most nights) we'd both prefer that I prepare dinner so we can eat together when he gets home.

Evenings are pretty much a whirlwind now as I try to have dinner on the table by 7:45, eat (and feed Taylor), do the dishes, do family scripture study at 8:15, get Taylor ready for bed (a LONG process as she has learned to stall..."one more book?") and get her to bed somewhere around her bedtime of 8:30 (usually later as she and daddy like to play for a bit). It's an exhausting process, but well worth it to spend time together as a family.

Also, when the alarm on my phone goes off every night at 8:15, it's cute to hear Taylor say, "Time for scriptures!" (Yeah, I have to set an alarm to remember to read the scriptures...pathetic, maybe, but at least it works!). Taylor has her own animated, lift-the-flap version of the Book of Mormon and it's fun to hear what she says as she looks through it: "Oh, Lehi and the Lee-hona! He's learning to share!" (as he shows the "lee-hona" to Nephi). Or, looking at the picture of Abinadi, "Hey, where's his shirt?" (that one always makes us laugh).

Well, that is our life as of late. Taylor and I don't get out much (except for the short, chilly walks we sometimes take...I hate the winter!) because Blake needs the car for his commute to Sandy every day. I've been wanting to get the kids together for play dates with lots of you (Jen, Danae, Tess, Naomi, etc.) so if you have a car or a way to get here, you are invited over! Taylor's best friend up to this point has been my in-laws dog, Sawyer. Now that I've seen her on all fours trying to drink out of his water bowl, I think it's time for some human best friends. Especially since we're getting into the potty-training phase...and that's one thing I certainly don't want her to learn from a dog :)

"I Wanna Give Him a Hug!"

2011-02-04T09:19:00.000-08:00

...is one of the first things Taylor said just 15 minutes after daddy left for work this morning. Talk about cute. So we called him instead (he usually has a few minutes to chat with us during his 35 minute commute to Sandy...that is, if Jimmer's not being interviewed on sports radio). Taylor loves to hold the phone herself and tell daddy about her various toys before ending with, "Love you! Bye bye!" and handing the phone back to me.

Okay, I know this has been mostly the "Taylor Diaries" as of late, but after spending the first 18 months of her life in an office, I feel like I need to play catch up on all the amazing and adorable things she can do since it felt like I only got to hear about them second hand from the grandmas when I was working. So you'll have to forgive me if this feels like Taylor's baby book for a little while...eventually it'll be about everything else in our life as well.

Still Learning...

2011-02-03T14:53:00.000-08:00

So, I'm thinking it was a mistake to show Taylor the pictures in my "Your Pregnancy Week by Week" book. She wanted to see what I was reading, so I showed her what her baby sibling looks like right now...then she requested to see every picture in the whole book ("Can I see more pictures of babies?").

The picture of the developing baby on the "Week 30" chapter was cute enough, but when Taylor turned backwards in the book and got to the chapter for "Week 6" it was a little hard to explain why the baby didn't have full arms and legs or a face of any kind. Tay got a confused look on her face and decided she was done looking at the "pictures of babies." Maybe from now on, mommy's books should only be for mommy.

Taylor Growing Up

2011-02-01T16:14:00.000-08:00

Lately, on the days when it has been over 30 degrees outside, Taylor and I have been going for walks in our neighborhood. She has a new obsession with shadows and loves to chase her own shadow. It's pretty funny to watch. She also loves to jump on my shadow and tell me, "I'm jumpin' on mama's shadow!"

Another new hobby of hers, taking every single diaper out of the package and laying them in a row on the floor. Her favorite diapers have a picture of mickey mouse and pluto on them, so she loves to sort through all the diapers and find the pluto ones. She's a little character.

Taylor is a little talker, especially when we are in the car. She tells us about everything that she sees and screams out, "FLAG!!!" every time we pass an American flag (and we've discovered that there are hundreds in Provo!).

Taylor loves when daddy gets home from work so that they can "play buddies" together. This consists of daddy laying on the floor on one of Taylor's blankies and throwing a variety of her favorite stuffed animals (buddies, as she calls them) into the air over and over again while Taylor dances around him laughing. They can play like this for nearly an hour! Who knew "playing buddies" could be so entertaining?

Taylor turns 2 in just a few weeks, so I figured I better document some of her funny little habits before my baby girl officially becomes a toddler. She has been such a pleasant, happy little girl, it was easy for us to want another just like her...at least, we're hoping the next is just as sweet :)

Family Update

2011-01-31T10:45:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been awhile, but we are doing pretty well in the Hagen household. I know I haven't posted anything worthwhile since October, so here's what Tay was up to that month:

Making smoothies with mommy and daddy...

Searching for a pumpkin on a rainy Saturday...

Being a goat at Hee Haw Farms...

Sitting on our neighbors porches to check out their pumpkins...

And just being cute in general :)

For those who have not heard, we are expecting our second child in July! That is part of why I have taken such a long hiatus from the blogosphere...morning sickness has had me down and out for a while, but I'm officially returning to real life now :) Blake and I just went in for our 16 week appointment today and the baby has a nice strong heartbeat. I don't feel sick all day every day anymore, so hopefully we're at the end of the morning sickness phase. December and January were basically a blur of gross smells, food cravings, trying not to throw up, and a lot of lame daytime TV while lying on the couch, so I'm hoping that part is over.

Anyway, we are very excited to welcome this little person into our family and I feel very grateful that the baby is healthy. I also feel very grateful that I am not working...it has been so nice being able to lay down when I feel sick. Thankfully, Taylor is a very pleasant and low maintenance toddler, so I have been able to take care of her and myself without difficulty. I am also grateful for a supportive husband and having family nearby...both sets of grandparents have babysat Taylor and provided dinner for us countless times...I don't know what we'd do without them!

Well, I know we are behind, but I'll get some Halloween and Christmas pictures up here soon...or at least before Easter :)

Sunday

2010-10-10T19:34:00.000-07:00

Just felt like blogging...nothing particularly important. We had an interesting Sunday as usual...Blake and I teach the CTR 6 class in Primary and it is fun but draining. We were warned that ours was the most challenging class and we have found that to be true. Who knew 3 little boys and a girl could have so much energy! Needless to say, we are learning a lot.

We are currently preparing for the Primary Program which is on Halloween (not sure who thought that was a good idea...a bunch of tired kids hopped up on sugar in charge of the entire sacrament meeting hour...yikes!). Well, hopefully it will go alright.

Every week after primary, Blake and I go to pick up Taylor from nursery and she never wants to leave. She smiles at us and runs off to play so we won't take her away. It is so cute and funny! She always takes a great nap when we get home, which means I get a great nap on Sundays, too. It's a nice routine we've got...love the lazy Sunday with my family.

Best. Summer. EVER!!!

2010-10-04T14:30:00.001-07:00

Well, this really has been the best summer ever...ever since I quit my job that is! I have been a stay at home mom with Taylor for about 2 months now and I love it more than anything. It is a joy to watch Taylor grow and learn new things every day.

We have spent a lot of time walking to the park, going on swings, going grocery shopping (T loves those carts that have a mini car on the front...she loves to drive), reading books, watching Curious George, learning the alphabet on starfall.com, coloring, and cooking and cleaning together.

At first, I think it was weird to Taylor that I was around all the time. She got extra clingy every time we would visit one of the Grandma's homes. But now, she realizes I'm not leaving her anywhere, so she has relaxed again.

Blake posted most of the pictures of what we've been up to on our family blog (see blakeandemily.wordpress.com), so all I have to leave you with are the pictures of a rainy day in Provo and what Taylor likes to do on such a day:

First, you construct a simple couch cushion fort...

Then you play in it!

At Home

2010-09-04T14:46:00.000-07:00

Well, I have definitely been MIA these last few months, but I have a really good excuse.

My good excuse:

For those who have not yet heard, I recently quit my job! Blake and I had been talking about it for months and the time just seemed right, so as of August 4th, I became a full-time mommy to my sweet little Taylor Emma. We have had so much fun doing a number of activities (more pictures to come) but that's all I wanted to say for now.

Flowers, Sushi, and Another Sick Day

2010-02-09T07:28:00.000-08:00

So, it's a good thing my company has given me 5 extra paid days off this year, cuz I am currently using another one. Fever, headache, and runny nose...exactly the symptoms I had 2 weeks ago minus the sore throat. Just hoping Taylor doesn't get it this time.

Anyway, on a lighter note, I have a wonderful husband. He surprised me after work yesterday with a bouquet of flowers and some sushi for dinner (one of my favorite things). The flowers were so pretty and smelled so good, even Taylor kept reaching for them. She was nice and gentle and didn't rip off a single petal.

After dinner, my fever got worse, so Blake made me some apple cinnamon muffins (gotta have some comfort foods when you're not feeling well). There wasn't as much mix in the box as Blake thought (my bad for not warning him) and the muffins ended up looking like the blob. Luckily, they still tasted great and ended up giving me a good laugh (actually I was laughing hysterically, though that might've been the effects of all the drugs I was taking to subdue my fever).

We went to bed around 11:30, only to be awakened every half hour by Taylor screaming out in pain (looks like she's growing more teeth). Needless to say, nobody got much sleep until 3am (and that was only after I was wrapped in blankets and wearing sweats...gotta love fevers).

Now I am enjoying mindless infomercials while Blake drops off Taylor at her Grandma's so she doesn't get sick. I hate using up my days off only to be away from my baby even more, but such is life, right? Anyway, despite being sick, I feel happy. I have a wonderful husband who is taking good care of me...and currently picking up some more comfort foods for me in the form of Carls Junior French Toast Sticks. Life is good.

Grieving for my Friend

2010-01-23T20:09:00.000-08:00

I have a beautiful friend named Ellen Carlson Goldsborough. In my last post, I talked about a friend who had lost her 5 month old baby boy in a tragic accident. Ellen is this friend.

Ellen and I grew up together in Woodinville, Washington. I can't even remember how long we have been friends (since we were 7 or 8 I think) but we were inseparable since we met. As children, we used to act up in Primary together. We giggled over the boys we had crushes on. In junior high, we had a notebook we passed back and forth where we wrote notes to eachother. We went to stake dances together, where I was too shy and embarassed to dance with the boys and Ellen bravely danced with all of them. I used to help her feed the chickens in her backyard. She used to jump on the trampoline in my backyard.

We were best friends.

When I was 15, my family moved to Tualatin, Oregon. Ellen and I talked on the phone and saw each other a couple times, but this was before the days of email and cell phones, so it was difficult to stay in touch.

We both went to BYU, but life was busy, and we rarely saw each other. Then, Ellen fell in love with Geoff, and I was maid of honor at her wedding. She moved to Washington D.C. and I stayed in Utah. We lost contact, but Ellen has always been one of my dearest friends. In many ways, she is like another sister to me (though both of us already have 5 sisters!).

For this reason, even though 3 months have elapsed, I feel I need to share just how much my heart still aches for Ellen and Geoff for their loss. Garrett was a beautiful baby and brought so much joy into their lives. It is a great tragedy that his time on this earth was so short.

When it comes to her conviction, Ellen is one of the most steadfast and immovable souls I have ever met. No one deserves this kind of pain less than her. And so, I mourn with her and for her. My prayers are with her and Geoff.

Ellen, thanks for being my best friend for so many years. Sometimes I wish we could go back to those simpler days of playing in the backyard without a care in the world. Now, I just wish I could take away the burden that has been placed on you.

For my dear friend, Ellen. My heart is still with you.

Grateful

2009-11-19T10:34:00.000-08:00

I was laying on the couch last night after a long, tiring day of work (which gave me a headache), a short run on the treadmill (which took away my headache), and a delicious dinner of turkey burgers made by my awesome chef of a husband. Taylor was sitting on my tummy, playing quietly (which is rare) with a teething ring and giving me the cutest little jack-o-lantern smiles you can imagine (she's got eight teeth now, some more grown in than others, so she often looks pretty goofy).

And I was thinking.

Lately, I've been feeling sorry for myself. Sorry for myself because I am not a full-time mommy and housewife, as I've always dreamed of being at this stage in my life. I've been thinking about how hard it is to work full-time and still be a good mom, wife, and housekeeper. It's near impossible so, most days, this perfectionistic mommy feels like a big failure.

However, I've been given three very timely reminders that what I have right now is pretty amazing and special and I should feel immensely grateful, despite the challenges involved.

Reminder #1: A friend of mine recently discovered that the child she is pregnant with has serious deformities. Doctors believe the child will probably die at birth. She and her husband are devastated, but leaning on the support of loved ones.

I have a perfectly healthy baby girl without a single flaw in her little body.

I feel grateful.

Reminder #2: I recently rediscovered the blog of a local mother of four, Stephanie Nielsen. Stephanie and her husband were in a plane crash just over a year ago that nearly took their lives (see full story here). Stephanie now lives with a body that will never quite recover from the burns she sustained over 80% of her body. Her daily victories include opening a jar of peanut butter to make lunch for her kids and showering without crying out in pain. She is still unable to pick up and hold her children.

I may be away from Taylor all day long, but when I do see her, I have the ability to pick her up and hold her as long as I want.

I feel grateful.

Reminder #3: A very dear friend that I've known a very long time recently lost her 5 month old baby boy in a tragic and unexpected accident. There was no warning, no chance to prepare for his loss. She is absolutely heartbroken.

Taylor is very much alive and well. What a gift.

I feel grateful.

Even though our trials may seem to be more than we can bear at times, there is always someone out there who is struggling with something more difficult. I took a moment and stepped outside of myself and my own worries and discovered I have a lot to be grateful for.

So who feels sorry for me now? Certainly not me.

Friday the 13th

2009-11-13T08:07:00.000-08:00

Today is Friday the 13th...and I love it! Not sure why, but I think it's because I love scary movies. Now, I'm not talking about gory horror movies, I just love suspenseful thrillers. I always feel like Friday the 13th is the perfect excuse to watch a scary movie, but Blake disagrees wholeheartedly. He's not a big fan of getting freaked out.

Whenever this date rolls around, I suggest we watch a scary movie, Blake shoots down the idea immediately, and we end up watching something happy and light-hearted. However, I am determined to watch a scary movie with Blake...wish me luck...looks like I've got a lot of buttering up to do!

Actually, Maybe it's Half Empty...

2009-11-12T14:18:00.001-08:00

I stand corrected. My husband has just broken another glass as of 5 minutes ago. It looks like I have an appointment at Bed Bath & Beyond this weekend so that I have something to drink out of before our entire stash of glasses is destroyed.

Again, gotta love my husband...after all, he was doing the dishes.

The Glass is Half Full

2009-11-09T14:45:00.000-08:00

So, Blake always makes fun of me because I refuse to drink from plastic cups. I don't know what it is, but they just gross me out. I feel like plastic cups make my water taste like plastic...who wants that? (Besides Taylor, who thinks she's a big girl).

Anyway, three years ago, as a wedding gift, we received a set of 16 glasses. They are perfect and the only glasses I will drink out of. Unfortunately, our 16 glasses are now down to only five...thanks to a loving husband that does the dishes with just a bit too much gusto.

If you do the math on that, we are breaking approximately one glass every three months. By this count, we should be out of glasses by January of 2011.

Needless to say, I am starting to shop for new glasses, but who could complain? I've got a husband who voluntarily does the dishes...there were bound to be casualties :)

I Didn't Know I Loved Autumn

2009-10-27T12:15:00.000-07:00

I have discovered that I love this time of year. The weather, the season, the holiday spirit, everything. It is starting to snow outside as I write this (which is NOT one of my favorite things), but before today, I was noticing all the wonderful things that the fall brings, including:

The color of the leaves...so vibrantly orange and fiery red

The way the wind blows those leaves around

The rotting beach wood smell of the pavement after it rains

The gleam of the sun on the raindrops still clinging to the trees

The fun of deciding which scarf to don for the day

The sight of pumpkins on every other doorstep

The idea of cuddling up under a blanket with hot cocoa or apple cider and devouring a novel

The chance to laugh as my baby girl discovers how to yank her new pink crocheted beanie from her head

The time I spend flipping through my holiday cookbook in search of a savory soup recipe to test on my husband

The discovery of diminished daylight during my drive to work as winter nears

...and so it would seem, I LOVE the fall!