At Home

Well, I have definitely been MIA these last few months, but I have a really good excuse.

My good excuse:

For those who have not yet heard, I recently quit my job! Blake and I had been talking about it for months and the time just seemed right, so as of August 4th, I became a full-time mommy to my sweet little Taylor Emma. We have had so much fun doing a number of activities (more pictures to come) but that's all I wanted to say for now.

Flowers, Sushi, and Another Sick Day

So, it's a good thing my company has given me 5 extra paid days off this year, cuz I am currently using another one. Fever, headache, and runny nose...exactly the symptoms I had 2 weeks ago minus the sore throat. Just hoping Taylor doesn't get it this time.

Anyway, on a lighter note, I have a wonderful husband. He surprised me after work yesterday with a bouquet of flowers and some sushi for dinner (one of my favorite things). The flowers were so pretty and smelled so good, even Taylor kept reaching for them. She was nice and gentle and didn't rip off a single petal.

After dinner, my fever got worse, so Blake made me some apple cinnamon muffins (gotta have some comfort foods when you're not feeling well). There wasn't as much mix in the box as Blake thought (my bad for not warning him) and the muffins ended up looking like the blob. Luckily, they still tasted great and ended up giving me a good laugh (actually I was laughing hysterically, though that might've been the effects of all the drugs I was taking to subdue my fever).

We went to bed around 11:30, only to be awakened every half hour by Taylor screaming out in pain (looks like she's growing more teeth). Needless to say, nobody got much sleep until 3am (and that was only after I was wrapped in blankets and wearing sweats...gotta love fevers).

Now I am enjoying mindless infomercials while Blake drops off Taylor at her Grandma's so she doesn't get sick. I hate using up my days off only to be away from my baby even more, but such is life, right? Anyway, despite being sick, I feel happy. I have a wonderful husband who is taking good care of me...and currently picking up some more comfort foods for me in the form of Carls Junior French Toast Sticks. Life is good.

Grieving for my Friend

I have a beautiful friend named Ellen Carlson Goldsborough. In my last post, I talked about a friend who had lost her 5 month old baby boy in a tragic accident. Ellen is this friend.

Ellen and I grew up together in Woodinville, Washington. I can't even remember how long we have been friends (since we were 7 or 8 I think) but we were inseparable since we met. As children, we used to act up in Primary together. We giggled over the boys we had crushes on. In junior high, we had a notebook we passed back and forth where we wrote notes to eachother. We went to stake dances together, where I was too shy and embarassed to dance with the boys and Ellen bravely danced with all of them. I used to help her feed the chickens in her backyard. She used to jump on the trampoline in my backyard.

We were best friends.

When I was 15, my family moved to Tualatin, Oregon. Ellen and I talked on the phone and saw each other a couple times, but this was before the days of email and cell phones, so it was difficult to stay in touch.

We both went to BYU, but life was busy, and we rarely saw each other. Then, Ellen fell in love with Geoff, and I was maid of honor at her wedding. She moved to Washington D.C. and I stayed in Utah. We lost contact, but Ellen has always been one of my dearest friends. In many ways, she is like another sister to me (though both of us already have 5 sisters!).

For this reason, even though 3 months have elapsed, I feel I need to share just how much my heart still aches for Ellen and Geoff for their loss. Garrett was a beautiful baby and brought so much joy into their lives. It is a great tragedy that his time on this earth was so short.

When it comes to her conviction, Ellen is one of the most steadfast and immovable souls I have ever met. No one deserves this kind of pain less than her. And so, I mourn with her and for her. My prayers are with her and Geoff.

Ellen, thanks for being my best friend for so many years. Sometimes I wish we could go back to those simpler days of playing in the backyard without a care in the world. Now, I just wish I could take away the burden that has been placed on you.

For my dear friend, Ellen. My heart is still with you.

Grateful

I was laying on the couch last night after a long, tiring day of work (which gave me a headache), a short run on the treadmill (which took away my headache), and a delicious dinner of turkey burgers made by my awesome chef of a husband. Taylor was sitting on my tummy, playing quietly (which is rare) with a teething ring and giving me the cutest little jack-o-lantern smiles you can imagine (she's got eight teeth now, some more grown in than others, so she often looks pretty goofy).

And I was thinking.

Lately, I've been feeling sorry for myself. Sorry for myself because I am not a full-time mommy and housewife, as I've always dreamed of being at this stage in my life. I've been thinking about how hard it is to work full-time and still be a good mom, wife, and housekeeper. It's near impossible so, most days, this perfectionistic mommy feels like a big failure.

However, I've been given three very timely reminders that what I have right now is pretty amazing and special and I should feel immensely grateful, despite the challenges involved.

Reminder #1: A friend of mine recently discovered that the child she is pregnant with has serious deformities. Doctors believe the child will probably die at birth. She and her husband are devastated, but leaning on the support of loved ones.

I have a perfectly healthy baby girl without a single flaw in her little body.

I feel grateful.

Reminder #2: I recently rediscovered the blog of a local mother of four, Stephanie Nielsen. Stephanie and her husband were in a plane crash just over a year ago that nearly took their lives (see full story here). Stephanie now lives with a body that will never quite recover from the burns she sustained over 80% of her body. Her daily victories include opening a jar of peanut butter to make lunch for her kids and showering without crying out in pain. She is still unable to pick up and hold her children.

I may be away from Taylor all day long, but when I do see her, I have the ability to pick her up and hold her as long as I want.

I feel grateful.

Reminder #3: A very dear friend that I've known a very long time recently lost her 5 month old baby boy in a tragic and unexpected accident. There was no warning, no chance to prepare for his loss. She is absolutely heartbroken.

Taylor is very much alive and well. What a gift.

I feel grateful.

Even though our trials may seem to be more than we can bear at times, there is always someone out there who is struggling with something more difficult. I took a moment and stepped outside of myself and my own worries and discovered I have a lot to be grateful for.

So who feels sorry for me now? Certainly not me.

Friday the 13th

Today is Friday the 13th...and I love it! Not sure why, but I think it's because I love scary movies. Now, I'm not talking about gory horror movies, I just love suspenseful thrillers. I always feel like Friday the 13th is the perfect excuse to watch a scary movie, but Blake disagrees wholeheartedly. He's not a big fan of getting freaked out.

Whenever this date rolls around, I suggest we watch a scary movie, Blake shoots down the idea immediately, and we end up watching something happy and light-hearted. However, I am determined to watch a scary movie with Blake...wish me luck...looks like I've got a lot of buttering up to do!

Actually, Maybe it's Half Empty...

I stand corrected. My husband has just broken another glass as of 5 minutes ago. It looks like I have an appointment at Bed Bath & Beyond this weekend so that I have something to drink out of before our entire stash of glasses is destroyed.

Again, gotta love my husband...after all, he was doing the dishes.

The Glass is Half Full

So, Blake always makes fun of me because I refuse to drink from plastic cups. I don't know what it is, but they just gross me out. I feel like plastic cups make my water taste like plastic...who wants that? (Besides Taylor, who thinks she's a big girl).

Anyway, three years ago, as a wedding gift, we received a set of 16 glasses. They are perfect and the only glasses I will drink out of. Unfortunately, our 16 glasses are now down to only five...thanks to a loving husband that does the dishes with just a bit too much gusto.

If you do the math on that, we are breaking approximately one glass every three months. By this count, we should be out of glasses by January of 2011.

Needless to say, I am starting to shop for new glasses, but who could complain? I've got a husband who voluntarily does the dishes...there were bound to be casualties :)