Grieving for my Friend

I have a beautiful friend named Ellen Carlson Goldsborough. In my last post, I talked about a friend who had lost her 5 month old baby boy in a tragic accident. Ellen is this friend.

Ellen and I grew up together in Woodinville, Washington. I can't even remember how long we have been friends (since we were 7 or 8 I think) but we were inseparable since we met. As children, we used to act up in Primary together. We giggled over the boys we had crushes on. In junior high, we had a notebook we passed back and forth where we wrote notes to eachother. We went to stake dances together, where I was too shy and embarassed to dance with the boys and Ellen bravely danced with all of them. I used to help her feed the chickens in her backyard. She used to jump on the trampoline in my backyard.

We were best friends.

When I was 15, my family moved to Tualatin, Oregon. Ellen and I talked on the phone and saw each other a couple times, but this was before the days of email and cell phones, so it was difficult to stay in touch.

We both went to BYU, but life was busy, and we rarely saw each other. Then, Ellen fell in love with Geoff, and I was maid of honor at her wedding. She moved to Washington D.C. and I stayed in Utah. We lost contact, but Ellen has always been one of my dearest friends. In many ways, she is like another sister to me (though both of us already have 5 sisters!).

For this reason, even though 3 months have elapsed, I feel I need to share just how much my heart still aches for Ellen and Geoff for their loss. Garrett was a beautiful baby and brought so much joy into their lives. It is a great tragedy that his time on this earth was so short.

When it comes to her conviction, Ellen is one of the most steadfast and immovable souls I have ever met. No one deserves this kind of pain less than her. And so, I mourn with her and for her. My prayers are with her and Geoff.

Ellen, thanks for being my best friend for so many years. Sometimes I wish we could go back to those simpler days of playing in the backyard without a care in the world. Now, I just wish I could take away the burden that has been placed on you.

For my dear friend, Ellen. My heart is still with you.